love to the moon and back forever

My kids are always telling me i need to blog - for a long time i thought "what in the world is a blog?" then i talked to my friend at Canton and she was telling me how much she loved to blog- and she said it was a way of journaling your life - - and that was all she needed to say - i was in----

i wake up every morning and it really is a new day for me - i wake up with my mind running and my heart full. full of all those things that make life matter. it has taken me 51 years to find myself - i would say that to find yourself means that no-one defines you. you define yourself by three magic words - your dreams - your goals - and your passions. these three things enter every part of my life daily and make me put one foot in front of the other - these words keep me centered and grounded on the purpose of my life - these words pull me up when i am down - and these words are the driving force in my life each and every day.

my dreams -

my dreams are real as i drive to work each day and know our business could make a difference in someones life ( see our website www.brickstonegraphics.com ) - it is a chance to help bring closure for some in the loss of a loved one or a pet - a chance to recognize and honor a veteran - or even an opportunity for children to have a place of identity and recognition at their school

my dreams are real as i sit at my grandson ( he is 4 ) tee ball game watching him roll in the dirt-throw his glove up in the air and his shirt tail pulled out as he is on the field in his own little Jaxon world - i dream that his little life would be special and that the world would be the place he himself dreams of in his own little 4 year old mind - oh my gosh - he is 5 today - cant believe it -

my dreams are real as his 1 year old brother River is toddling around at the tee-ball game glancing over at me occasionally with that big grin and toddling from his parents to grandparents - thinking all is well in his world - and i pray it always will be for him -

my dreams are real as i talk to my 7 year old granddaughter Macie on the phone as she is about to go to the Cheetah Girls concert with - her mom - thankful her mom takes the time to make those memories with her daughter - and knowing there will be other concerts she goes to in her life and praying they will be safe and fun for her -

my dreams are real as i kept Landon my 2 year old grandson all night for the first time this past weekend - as we sat in the den rocking at 4:00am i looked down at him with those long eyelashes and big eyes and he looked up at me - and at that moment we both knew all was great in our little world

my dreams are real as i watch my two kids Keven 28 - Kalyn 27 - and i watch their families and their struggles and know that at any moment a crisis or victory could occur - and the privilege of being their for them as they need me

my dreams are real as i go day to day with my husband Allen and know that i finally know it is OK to be alone - to be going my own direction in my life without his constant presence ( that is short for deer lease obsession ) but it is good - now - it has taught me allot

my dreams are real as i know how precious life is to have my grandmother on both of my parents side alive - and to have 5 generations here - on both sides - what a gift!

my dreams are real as i get the opportunity to live close and spend time and memories with parents - brothers and sisters and family time -

my dreams are real when i talk to my girlfriends and i know that their friendship is real and forever

my goals are to fight hard within myself to keep the peace and joy that makes life woth living - who-ever said all was easy - was not in their right mind - i have found if i sit around and wait for conditions to bring the joy and peace that work in life - i will be sadly dissappointed - dissappointed because situations change but your ideas and beliiefs dont have to - my dreams are hourly - i sit at my desk at work or walk through my house and think about my goals and where i am in my life as i work toward them -

my passions are what make me feel secure-hopeful-and happy - those passions that make you say to yourself "i can do this - i am going to keep going stronger than ever -" - or the times you say to yourself" this too will pass - i CAN get through this"

i am a list maker - list - keep me on the right track - lists give me a feeling of accomplishment as i mark things off - lists give me ideas of other things to do -

my list for today

; to join curves and try to start back on a workout plan - they have a new thing called curve-smart - it is suppose to really motivate you - i did curves a few years back and that work-out environment worked much better for me - than the Ballys aerobic class experience where i fell into the exercise bike area and nearly killed myself

; to start working on cleaning out my cabinets beside the refrigerator

; to get a halloween gift for my nieces child and send to her - ( they are in the military in Turkey)

; to go to Jaxon's birthday dinner

; to mop my bathroom floor

my struggles for the day:

* my kids survival in this day and time

* finding time to spend with my grandmothers

* getting my dogs training reinforced

* making time for quiet time with the Lord

when i look at my struggles for the day - i feel blessed - because i know sooo many have much harder devastating struggles - and i remember to keep in perspective how blessed and grateful i should be and to not waste energy-emotion and time on unnecessary struggles - that really arnt struggles at all if i will just take my hands off the situation and let God have control and trust Him for everything. I guess that is where Faith comes in - you cant see it or feel it - you have to TRUST -

so my goal - dream- and passion for the day is to TRUST -

Trust in the Lord with all your heart - lean not unto your OWN UNDERSTANDING i in all your ways acknowledge HIM and he will direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6

well i dont think the blogs are suppose to be this long and i have so much more to share with you -

if you cant tell; " my cup runneth over "

love to the moon and back forever

CeeBee ( my grandma name for Missy)