well the weekend was GOOD!

my time with my girlfriend was as awesome as i knew it would be - she is just the "the real deal" the reason i know that is that we can be apart for no matter how long and pick up where we left off - and we did just that - i look forward to more time with her - it just is about "finding and making the time" --- we just get busy and we need to look back over each day and see if there was time wasted - and put that time to better use. it certainly reminded me to re-look at things ( re-look is that a word?) any way - it was really the best!

Saturday was early morning football game for little jaxon - freezing cold - and it was home coning ( do what? no really they just run thru their run on tunnel and give their mom a carnation in the spirit line ) well, jaxon wanted more than to leave the flower with his mother - his mother to hold him - he was soo cold - so we had a little delay there for him - but bless his hear he ran to the sidelines and went over to the fence to play with the other boys sitting out- ( keep in mind he just turned 5 last week ) so we know he will figure it out soon enough - then off to sams to pick up cupcakes for his birthday skating party - and then to the party - macie spent the nite with me - so my and my sister mimi had fun with macie and then we were at dinner and had an add-on in little Landon - we finished eating and then took mimi home and i went home with the two kids - now - Nellie ( the brown lab six month old puppy that weighs in at 6o libs - just got back from boot camp for 10 days while we were at Disney land ) dear God i think she already needs a refresher course - i put that training collar on her and she got the message - she was way too excited for macie and landon - i was sweating like crazy - trying to keep everything in line - but we did have time for play time in the grandma room - which i stored as another great memory - ( grandma room = i will try to post some pictures - it is the magical getaway )

Sunday morning - of course we were up at 6:30 thanks to Nellie and her body alarm clock from getting up with Allen each morning - so up we went - macie made an arts and craft for her mom and dad - she is soo good about that - she loves that confirmation to them that she loves and appreciates them and that they are special - i hope and pray that little hearts stays that soft and caring. we took a bath and wash each others hair - if you can have a visual of this fat body maneuvering in the tub with her - she just keep reassuring me it was crowded because they built the bath tub wrong - love her little heart - we then played beauty shop and dried our hair - and had a little controversy about the makeup she had on her eyes from the nite before when we played wall mart and she was the check out girl - she claimed it was ok to leave it on - and i knew better!!! so she finally saw the light - ( oh by the way she says when she grows up she wants to work at wall mart and be a wall mart girl! ) oh well, i told her i would go thru her aisle every day she was there - of course then she says - : yeh and i would pay for all your stuff for you so you wouldn't have to pay -

we then went and picked my 90 year old grandmother to go to eat lunch and take her to Belk - she loves it - it was fun she is macies great-great grandmother - what a legacy and a treasure -
we went to la madeline and of course the bread was too hard - the salad wasn't fresh - and bless her heart she could not hear - and we had to be a little loud at the table - so everyone shared in our lunch - mimi joined us and i was on my way to downtown rockwall for jaxonx play-off game - and so we went to belk and stopped in at kohls - she said kohls was a mess and very unorganized - and she carried shirt around belk until we left then set it down - so i asked her if she wanted to go to jaxons game - she "i just cant the body is too tired " so i told mimi to take her home - however mimi said she wanted one last stop at steim mart - to walk a little more -

i came home from the game and poppi was there scruffed face and looked like the long lost hunter - i heard his stories then put my jammys on and my body in the bed to watch extreme make overs and brothers and sisters - ( i do love to do that - jammy in the bed - tv thing )

today my grandmother called to thank me for taking her to lunch and shopping and how much she enjoyed - ( what was her name - you know kalyns daughter - bless her heart )

and as i hung the phone up - i remembered this is what it is about - seeing girlfriends and spending quality time with them - helping out at grandchild birthday -- spending time with grandkids - going to their functions whether they play or not they look over and see you there and know they are a priority -spending time with my sister - spending time with my grandmother and all her elderly ways she cannot help - but knowing she felt special - and then home to a man i know loves me -

a productive weekend -

once again my cup runneth over

love to the moon and back forever
ceebee

it's a weekend about me -
allen is off to the dear lease for his first hunt - he was soooo excited - there was a time i used to need him to have that kind of excitement to be with me - but have come to realize that is his passion and i am being selfish to force that passion to become less than it is - in other words it is a heart -thing - but just like he said wneh we were discussing this very subject - i was i was telling him i didn't have a hobby and he said yes you do - it is your kids - i would say "sure" but a hobby is putting it mildly - they are one of my "passions" - so that is ok - i will curl up in the bed with the dogs - go to my jaxons 5th birthday party - and his play-off football game and just enjoy the weekend.

my thoughts today are on the holidays - and how we can make them special - we are doing a new thing at thanksgiving this year - and ornament exchange - that should be lots of fun.

and making my list and checking it twice -

i did pick up my girls their first gift yesterday - yea!!! i am sooo excited -

we found out little macie has to go to her ( as she calls him her step-dad ) for Christmas this year - he has remarried for the 3rd time and his wife has changed the way he has done things in the past - so he will pick her up her first day of Christmas break and bring her back the day after Christmas - which to me is so unfair to macie - we all live in the same town - why mess up all her traditions and routines - and work together - but it is not about mcaie when it comes to him - but winning and all about him -
of course kalyn was devastated - and i was blowing a gasket - but then i prayed about it - and realized macie will respond and feel the stress on her own without us making it worse by being out of control mad -- it is what it is - and we have to be there for her to make her holidays before she leaves and after she gets home to be the best year ever for her - kalyn is handling it better now and i am very proud of her - as well as the rest of the family supporting kalyn and not making it any harder than it already is -

i tell you that brent situation - truly test my - faith - my temperament and my anger - this situation - falls under passion - except that now i realize you can have a different kind of passion than that of good things - i now realize you can have passions for causes and ( my passion against brent used to be that he would fall off the face of the earth ) but now my passion regarding him is that he will not disrupt macies little life too much and that he will be fair to kalyn - it is one of those "take your hands off - get out of the way and let God handle it ) and so i struggle each day to do that very thing.

kalyn told me her and Ben and Landon would be going to Abilene this year for Christmas eve - and that is ok - i love Ben and i know just because he married kalyn - his family is not gone- and i will never stand in the way of that or make it hard on kalyn - it would be very selfish and unfair - (now if they moved away - dear God i would need severe counseling ) lol!

melissa - my dtr - in - law - who is like a dtr to me - is trying to go back to school - and get her dental hygiene license - i am sooo proud of her - but boy is it hard to balance - studying - the boys and running a home - but she is moving right along -

i am sooo proud of all my kids they really do try - and stay focused - the only thing i pray for them it is that they would --ge their families involved in church - this burden - and i guess you could say passion ( boy i never realized how many areas of my life that word affected and in so many different contexts ) i know that randy and i committed our children to the Lord when they were little and we made it a priority to help them see the Lord in every way they could - thru us - in sunday school - church- and praying with them - and God has honored that just like he said he would. this world and even us as parents do not have what it takes to do it all for our kids - their hearts need MORE ----- i pray daily ( in fact several times a day about this ) a hope the kids will lead their families in this way -
i know myself i need to make a priority to get back involved in church -- i do miss it

i will work this week on my list of stuff to do around the house this winter - allen will not be impressed i am sure -

off the subject - i saw last night that linen - n - things is going out of business - i went in because i need a new bedspread - the new lab has snagged it to death - things are only 10% off now - so i will wait until that percentage is little More to get a good deal - but could be a great place to pick up some Christmas gifts -( it was the one in rockwall )

ok i need help getting the word out!!!!!!!!!!!!!-----------------

kalyn is going into a salon - it is called salons in rockwall - it is behind maladeline by TJ MAX one of her friend stylists may go in with her -it is pretty cool - you have your own room with cable tv and it is very classy and safe - if you go in after 7:00 you have to be let in - she needs your help and referrals to get back in it now that the kids are older - plus you will love the place - she does cuts - color - up-dos whatever you want - this place has permanent make-up tattoos and all kids of things - kalyns number is 214-354-0256 - her email is kalyneastep@yahoo.com
she does my hair - melissa - renne wynnes whole family and a lot of other people she has been doing ----

well poppi ( allens grandpaw name ) is on his way to the deer lease and i just got a hold of a dear friend of mine for dinner and drinks and i am soooo excited to see her - she lives in rockwall our kids were in high school together.

talking to her remind me of friendships and how much they mean and are needed in our lives -

gosh - once again my cup runneth over

love to the moon and back forever
ceebee

ok - heres the deal - i went to curves yesterday - and it felt really good - it only took 30 minutes and it was so easy and fun. i was a little sore - but i guess that just tells you that it really does work as well as getting your heart rate into the zone it needs to be in too - i am going to try to go 5 days a week - but i know that wont happen - i will dedicate to al least 3 days - i wanted to go back today but i have to meet the verizon guy to fix my home internet service.

we went to jaxons birthday dinner last nite at chillis - and it was good - he is 5 years old. he got a nintendo and games and roller blades from family - i had got him an ipod - but i gave it to him early when we went on our family trip to disneyworld a couple of weeks ago. he was so cuite last nite - when the waiters sang to him - he is so his daddy he curled up in a ball in the seat and would not look up. little river was not in the chillis mood and the guys took turns taking him outside to walk. we missed Macie - but she was at dance -

so i only got to two things off my list - well, that is two things done.

hopefull i am keeping grandkids tonite and tomorrow nite while my kids go see the movie - Fireproof - i think all married couples should see it - it is a great movie.

i am starting to think about Canton and if I am going to have any new item for the boutique - Southern Chick Boutique - by 3 glamm girls - it is mine and the girls deal - as well as all the rocks and benches -this is a good time for canton because of all the gifts people buy and our stuff is so original. if you are at canton come by and see me - we are across from dog alley in the big green barn off the parking lot - we share a building with two other businesses - that sell browning hunting clothes and wallbeds and csiling tin decor and frames--i know most people go to the other side off hwy 19 the old grounds but come to our side after they close at 5:00 we are open late and the mountain is all lit up - very fun. canton dates - Oct. 31 weekend - Nov 28th weekend - no canton in december - tip - if the line is long getting off at hwy 19 - go down to the next exit and get off - go right till you run into hwy 34 i think - well it dead ends into it - and take a right - you will see dog alley on your left and where we are old mill on your right - and if you go to the lite you are at hwy 19 - so it is just a short cut not many people know about.
i will take some pictures of the store and post them on here soon.

kalyn was sharing with me this morning a struggle macie - had - she has some tennis shoes she wears to dance - for hip hop class - so you can imagine what they look like - she wanted to wear them this morning and kalyn so no they were for dance - macie proceeds to tell kalyn that the girls at school said they wont play with her unless she wears those shoes and she was very upset about it - kalyn explained to her that she could wear them today - but to tell the gilrs that is not what a true friensd is and kalyn said she would need to find another friend to play with-
can you beileive how things are these days - it is a cut throat world we love in - but all you can do is stand your ground - be involved and know about your childs life and their feelings - teaching them to be strong in themselves is very hard - it took me 51 years to figure out no one defines who i am - and i just pray the kids will work that out so much sooner in their little lives - we just have to pray for them -

i am ready for cold weather and inside projects - it seems that is when i get excited about doin things in my house -

my goal this weekend is to start working on my christmas list and each week buy a gift and see how that goes this year.

as i sat a chillis last nite with family all around laughing and enjoying each other - i once again was reminded ---- my cup runneth over

love to the moon and back forever - -ceebee

My kids are always telling me i need to blog - for a long time i thought "what in the world is a blog?" then i talked to my friend at Canton and she was telling me how much she loved to blog- and she said it was a way of journaling your life - - and that was all she needed to say - i was in----

i wake up every morning and it really is a new day for me - i wake up with my mind running and my heart full. full of all those things that make life matter. it has taken me 51 years to find myself - i would say that to find yourself means that no-one defines you. you define yourself by three magic words - your dreams - your goals - and your passions. these three things enter every part of my life daily and make me put one foot in front of the other - these words keep me centered and grounded on the purpose of my life - these words pull me up when i am down - and these words are the driving force in my life each and every day.

my dreams -

my dreams are real as i drive to work each day and know our business could make a difference in someones life ( see our website www.brickstonegraphics.com ) - it is a chance to help bring closure for some in the loss of a loved one or a pet - a chance to recognize and honor a veteran - or even an opportunity for children to have a place of identity and recognition at their school

my dreams are real as i sit at my grandson ( he is 4 ) tee ball game watching him roll in the dirt-throw his glove up in the air and his shirt tail pulled out as he is on the field in his own little Jaxon world - i dream that his little life would be special and that the world would be the place he himself dreams of in his own little 4 year old mind - oh my gosh - he is 5 today - cant believe it -

my dreams are real as his 1 year old brother River is toddling around at the tee-ball game glancing over at me occasionally with that big grin and toddling from his parents to grandparents - thinking all is well in his world - and i pray it always will be for him -

my dreams are real as i talk to my 7 year old granddaughter Macie on the phone as she is about to go to the Cheetah Girls concert with - her mom - thankful her mom takes the time to make those memories with her daughter - and knowing there will be other concerts she goes to in her life and praying they will be safe and fun for her -

my dreams are real as i kept Landon my 2 year old grandson all night for the first time this past weekend - as we sat in the den rocking at 4:00am i looked down at him with those long eyelashes and big eyes and he looked up at me - and at that moment we both knew all was great in our little world

my dreams are real as i watch my two kids Keven 28 - Kalyn 27 - and i watch their families and their struggles and know that at any moment a crisis or victory could occur - and the privilege of being their for them as they need me

my dreams are real as i go day to day with my husband Allen and know that i finally know it is OK to be alone - to be going my own direction in my life without his constant presence ( that is short for deer lease obsession ) but it is good - now - it has taught me allot

my dreams are real as i know how precious life is to have my grandmother on both of my parents side alive - and to have 5 generations here - on both sides - what a gift!

my dreams are real as i get the opportunity to live close and spend time and memories with parents - brothers and sisters and family time -

my dreams are real when i talk to my girlfriends and i know that their friendship is real and forever

my goals are to fight hard within myself to keep the peace and joy that makes life woth living - who-ever said all was easy - was not in their right mind - i have found if i sit around and wait for conditions to bring the joy and peace that work in life - i will be sadly dissappointed - dissappointed because situations change but your ideas and beliiefs dont have to - my dreams are hourly - i sit at my desk at work or walk through my house and think about my goals and where i am in my life as i work toward them -

my passions are what make me feel secure-hopeful-and happy - those passions that make you say to yourself "i can do this - i am going to keep going stronger than ever -" - or the times you say to yourself" this too will pass - i CAN get through this"

i am a list maker - list - keep me on the right track - lists give me a feeling of accomplishment as i mark things off - lists give me ideas of other things to do -

my list for today

; to join curves and try to start back on a workout plan - they have a new thing called curve-smart - it is suppose to really motivate you - i did curves a few years back and that work-out environment worked much better for me - than the Ballys aerobic class experience where i fell into the exercise bike area and nearly killed myself

; to start working on cleaning out my cabinets beside the refrigerator

; to get a halloween gift for my nieces child and send to her - ( they are in the military in Turkey)

; to go to Jaxon's birthday dinner

; to mop my bathroom floor

my struggles for the day:

* my kids survival in this day and time

* finding time to spend with my grandmothers

* getting my dogs training reinforced

* making time for quiet time with the Lord

when i look at my struggles for the day - i feel blessed - because i know sooo many have much harder devastating struggles - and i remember to keep in perspective how blessed and grateful i should be and to not waste energy-emotion and time on unnecessary struggles - that really arnt struggles at all if i will just take my hands off the situation and let God have control and trust Him for everything. I guess that is where Faith comes in - you cant see it or feel it - you have to TRUST -

so my goal - dream- and passion for the day is to TRUST -

Trust in the Lord with all your heart - lean not unto your OWN UNDERSTANDING i in all your ways acknowledge HIM and he will direct your path. Proverbs 3:5-6

well i dont think the blogs are suppose to be this long and i have so much more to share with you -

if you cant tell; " my cup runneth over "

love to the moon and back forever

CeeBee ( my grandma name for Missy)